Screening Dead
Dear you,
The other day I heard about what you’re doing. I want you to know that this is not an attack, but rather a frustrated expression of sore disappointment. It hurts to know that you would treat me, and others like me, with such utter disregard. As if my people don’t already have enough to struggle with, now you’ve removed essential liberties and basic pleasures from an already misunderstood and overlooked group. I’m here to raise a flag of awareness and wag a finger of disapproval at the top one percent of “deciders” in this industry. You know who you are and by now you should know who I am. I am the face of every Troma-film collecting, convention attending, fake-blood dripping, premiere-queueing hardcore horror film fan. I put up with all the crap they call “horror” these days because I care about the survival of the genre. I spend the time and money tracking down the rarest of the rare “scare” gems, even if have to utilise overseas means, because I’m dedicated. I am here, I am loyal, I am proud, and…
That’s right Sony, your decision to open the Evil Dead remake in Australia as a limited release is crushing my windpipe like a stranglehold from beyond the grave! How can you do this? I’ve been eagerly anticipating this thing for a good while now and at the last minute you decide to drown it in the bathtub. When I first heard that the MPAA had cut the film massively, in order to give it an R rating, I must admit that I felt a little sick…
…but I got over it. This new development, however, is a gushing wound that needs to be duct-taped! It turns out that the only screening in Melbourne is at Cinema Nova at 1 minute past midnight on a Thursday. Hurray for successful distribution!
This is a damning set of circumstances for a person such as myself, who relies on public transport. How am I supposed to get home after a night of tongue splitting and tree rape when the only screening ends at 2 a.m.? You fools at Sony have a proven success on your hands, a film that raked in over four times it’s budget in profits overseas, and you’re ditching it in the forest like it’s a deformed child!
In the distance I hear a seductive voice chanting “…download it…download it…”, and it grows stronger every minute. If you want to win the war against piracy, Sony, you need to meet the demand properly. After all, that is your job…you whorehags!
Ok, breathe, breathe! Calm own Carl! We said this wasn’t going to be an attack and it’s not! Relax, recompose, and…
YOU WANKS! TURN YOUR EARS ON AND LISTEN TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT FOR ONCE!
Well, so much for that…
CUTTING OFF AN ENTIRE COUNTRY FROM TRULY ENJOYING THIS MOVIE, AND FOR NO GOOD REASON, MAKES YOU NOTHING MORE THAN ABYSMAL LOSERS! YOU’RE FAILURES OF THE WORST KIND, AN EMBARRASSMENT TO YOUR AUDIENCE! YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL! LET JESUS FUCK YOU!
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go off like that. It’s just the anger, it takes over me when I think about how you’re treating this movie the same way you treated Cabin in the Woods. It makes me sad and then my blood starts to boil…
Alright, alright, I’m fine. Relax, put your weapons down.
Because of your bizarre economic strategy, I’m not going to get to see your movie. I would have gladly lined up around the block for it, paid my money, dressed up in costume, and even had my evil hand crawl me into the cinema if necessary. Unfortunately, my evil hand and I will have to find something else to do on Thursday night.
I…I don’t know what that look is for…but anyway…
What more can I possibly say to try and cure your diseased minds? There are hordes of gore-loving fans who would pay bucket-loads to see Evil Dead, but those dollars will remain neatly tucked in their wallets instead of pouring into your cash-grabbin’ entertainment enterprise. Why? Because in this moment…you were stupid.
Shape up!
Sincerely yours, me.
– Gentle concerned letter…Over!
Hack Man
So last night I took another trip down “film history” lane and watched a movie new to me but old to the world. It was Francis Ford Coppola’s The Conversation. I had only vaguely heard of it before and seen occasional parodical references to it in TV-shows like Spaced. It turns out to feature one hell of an intriguing premise:
“A paranoid and personally-secretive surveillance expert has a crisis of conscience when he suspects that a couple he is spying on will be murdered.”
– IMDB
I find it to be an interesting twist on the material, as most surveillance-centered movies tend make the main character the victim of an invasive conspiracy rather than the perpetrator. Gene Hackman’s character, Harry Caul, is an uncomfortable cog in a possibly malevolent machine. He has one very distinct achilles heel; he cares. In a world where both the bugging-equipment and it’s users exhibit the same cold moral vacuum, Harry is different. It makes him likeable to us, but also catalyses his own erratic behaviour and gradually consumes him over the course of the film.
A lot of movies dive into the subject of paranoia and attempt to place the audience into the characters shoes, but I can’t remember the last time I saw one as effective as this. As the plot thickened I found myself wishing that Harry would stop caring and just go home. I guess that means that I’d be a pushover in the same situation, but damn it his world becomes so scary! Because of Coppola’s strategic use of editing and camera placement, we find ourselves not knowing whether anything Harry suspects is fact or fantasy. Repetition plays a large thematic role in the film, and spreads of every corner of the production. Camera moves are repeated continuously in an untypical way until they produce a new meaning in your mind, very much mirroring the way Harry plays his recorded conversations over and over again until he experiences the same phenomena.
Very little, and one could argue nothing at all, came off as arbitrary in this film. It’s an example of very precise craftsmanship, and should be on every wannabe filmmaker’s “to watch” list. I’m certainly glad I saw it, and it has been stirring in my mind since last night. Did I understand what it all meant? No. Did I like it? Yes. Is it slow as fuck?
….yyyyeeaah! It’s a very stagnantly paced film, but not a stagnantly told one. The first hour may very well put you to sleep (as it did to a viewer beside me), but the second had me curling up my toes. There is one moment, very reminiscent of The Shining, that got to me in exactly the way Coppola must have intended. I was properly scared! If you stay with The Conversation till the end, you will be too.
– Rant Over!
Oblivithon
How many science fiction films have you seen? I don’t mean just the “pew-pew” Star Wars kind of science fiction, I mean real science fiction like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Wall-E, Silent Running, The Clonus Horror, Planet of the Apes, The Omega Man, Westworld, Solaris, Sunshine, Moon, etc. I’m sorry, is that list too long for you? Don’t worry, you can see all of them at once by watching Oblivion. Plot:
“A veteran (Tom Cruise) assigned to extract Earth’s remaining resources begins to question what he knows about his mission and himself.”
IMDB
Identity and memory issues are a common theme in almost all science fiction stories. The exploration of the external inevitably leads to an epiphany of the internal. It’s an idea that recycles again and again throughout this genre, like a track set on repeat. Fine, I can handle being in familiar territory, but Oblivion doesn’t even make a minimal effort to distinguish itself. If you have any knowledge of sci-fi films from the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, it will likely bore you.
That being said, it’s quite a pretty movie. The landscape shots, backdrops, costumes, and general production design look like they were all created by Apple. The fluffy lightness of Tom Cruise’s day-to-day technology contrasted with the rusty barren wasteland he is exploring makes for a great visual, but again…it ain’t new! The visual effects are as good as any recent film I can think of, and I have it on good authority that the sound design is “amazing”. Personally I couldn’t distinguish the loud droning crashes and hums from any of the Transformers sequels or recent Star Wars abortions, but maybe the sound-tech savvy person I saw it with knows something that I don’t. The M83 musical score suits the budget, grand and sweeping, and the cast generally impresses. I wasn’t disappointed with the acting from Mr. Cruise or indeed anyone else. It’s nice to see Andrea Riseborough in a big film, and truth be told she’s probably the most impressive thing on screen. Her character’s unrequited infatuation for Tom Cruise reaches a sad peak at one point in the film, and almost makes you care.
By the way, Cruise plays a character called Jack Harper mere seconds after inhabiting Jack Reacher. I look forward to his next preformance as…Jack Jumper, followed by Jack Archer, Jack Scratcher, Jack Offer, and Jack Shit. Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week!
The final sin this movie commits is, whilst being utterly predictable and unoriginal, it also somehow manages the impressive feat of being completely confusing. Once the plot began to take a few twists, I sat back and waited for a moment of necessary exposition that never graced my ears. There seems to have been a scene in this movie where someone stood up and explained what the underlying conspiracy was…but it was cut out. That’s the best explanation I can come up with. The only other option is that I was too dumb to understand it, and we all know that can’t be it. Right? Right?
In the end it all becomes clear, but only right at the end. Expect a lot of “Ey?”, “Huh?”, and “What?”s along the way.
Oblivion has a fitting title, engaging musical score, decent performances, and typical ideas. It is a collage of cliched moments. Only the blissfully ignorant will fully enjoy it.
– Rant Over!
You wanna see somethin’?
“A person is smart, people are dumb.” That’s what Tommy Lee Jones said in Men in Black. There’s certainly truth to it. When you’re apart from the world, watching a movie on your own, you are finally free to form your own opinion. By contrast; when hoards of moviegoers coalesce into one big opinion-pile, they tend to egg each other on and build up one shared view…which more often than not tends to be overly extreme in one way or the other. The opinion that, for years, could be found on damn-near everyone’s lips was…
“Ben Affleck is shit!”
I grew up with this notion presented to me as a norm. It was a given. Everyone knew has Ben Affleck was nothing more than a pretty-boy, right? Well, no. I wasn’t so sure. To me, the man always seemed pretty smart and well put together. Yet, throughout the 90’s and 00’s, people only focused on these:
And hardly ever acknowledged his contributions to these:
All his supporting roles were completely overlooked, possibly because his face just wasn’t on the poster. Whenever it was seen as a “Ben Affleck vehicle”, the axe immediately fell on him. Over the years, as his career slalomed into more and more ridicule, all the comedians took shots at him. South Park, Family Guy, and The Simpsons all crapped on his name.
But now, suddenly, after all these years Ben Affleck is considered important to the industry. The movies he’s directed; Gone Baby Gone, The Town, and of course this years Best Picture winner Argo, were all drooled over by critics. What in the world has happened? Why the sudden respect?
Well, I liken it to playground bullying. A few faults in close proximity and the crowd gives you a nickname. That nickname, or stinky reputation, stays with you for a long time and is very hard to break out of. It would appear, however, that Ben has done the exceedingly difficult. He managed to generate respect as a director where before he had little as an actor. Although, I think he always had the director’s gift and it was revealed at an early stage with the first short film he ever directed…
I Killed my Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meathook, and now I have a Three Picture Deal at Disney, Ben Affleck’s 16 minute long 1993 directing debut, can be seen here and here. It’s a weird movie, I’ll admit, but there’s something fascinating about it. I have no idea what the point of it is, and I’m not even sure Ben knew when he made it. It looks like a film made by someone who just wanted to make something to prove he had a voice. It has a bit of an American Psycho vibe to it, but was made seven years prior. Anyone who now considers themselves a fan of Ben Affleck as a director should check it out.
Ben Affleck can arguably be described as someone who has had to learn a lot throughout his career. He has had some trouble securing his own respected place in the industry, but now seems to have found the lock that matches his key. Still, as good a director as he may be…he is also not a bad actor. Lest we forget that his speech at the end of Good Will Hunting is the best thing in an already great film. Sure, he’s been in some horrendous movies. I’m sure he joined a few purely for the money, and gave lacklustre performances in them…
Hear Hear! Phantoms is a phenomenal 90’s horror with a simple unassuming little plot:
“Two sisters arrive at the tiny village of Snowfield, Colorado, only to find that the villagers have all disappeared…overnight.”
– Cinema-Rant
I love movies like this, they remind me of The X-Files. “How can so many people just disappear, and why?” The Beatles said “all you need is love”, but I say “All you need is a good premise”. An intriguing idea will see you through bad acting, bad direction, and even a fair bit of bad writing. That’s not to say, however, that Phantoms exhibits any of these damning qualities. It’s a really good movie.
The atmosphere is perfectly captured with an eerie blend of lighting, effects, and music. David William’s musical score is terrifying, while being as precise as a scalpel. It consists of a very simple and elegant tune that repeats over and over, fading in and out in the background (like a…phantom, maybe?).
Sorry, that was perhaps a little silly. Maybe I’m putting too much into the music, but I will not surrender my flattery of the performances. Rose McGowan is fine, Joanna Going is descent, Peter O’Toole is good, Ben Affleck is great, and Liev Schreiber is off the charts! Schreiber plays a a really twisted character called “Stu”, who’s so shady that it makes him the most interesting person in the film. You never quite understand if he’s evil, or if he just enjoys sowing the seeds of conflict and watching them grow. I love it!
Of course, as it’s from 1998, the digital effects sometimes underwhelm. The practical effects, however, are spot-on. There are some great throwbacks to gooey classics like The Thing and The Fly. Tentacles, insects, decapitations, and possessed morphing dogs all make an appearance. I don’t know about you, but to me that sounds like a great night in front of the tube.
Many actors do small horror movies early in their careers. It’s a quick check and a bit of fun where you don’t have to take yourself too seriously. In Ben Affleck’s case, however, he actually made a good one. I hope everyone takes a trip to Snowfield and fights Phantoms with Affleck and Schreiber, lets go of all seriousness, and enjoys a fright or two.
– Rant Over
Cinema Rant 