Beyond the pages of science
Have you ever heard of the name H. P. Lovecraft? If you have, lucky you! If you haven’t…lucky you! I’m about to tell you who he is.
Many movies have been inspired by Lovecraft; like The Thing, Ghostbusters, and The Evil Dead. Unfortunately, the direct adaptations of his work have never turned out very well – safe for one of his short stories: Herbert West-Reanimator.
In 1985 director Stuart Gordon transcribed the tale into a 95 minute blood-pumping gore-fest of a film, simply titled Re-Animator…and it turned out great!
“A dedicated student at a medical college and his girlfriend become involved in bizarre experiments centering around the re-animation of dead tissue when an odd new student arrives on campus.”
– IMDB
If you don’t like “blood n’ guts” then you should skip this one, but if you like a little meat spilling – then it’s a must-see. This movie is a wonderful blend of morbid humour, carnage, and sex. The acting is hilariously over the top, but that’s one of the greatest things about it. This movie is the Frankenstein of the 80’s.
Ok, so let’s say that this sounds terrible to you and you can’t imagine who would ever be interested in a movie like this! You prefer movies with more substance, maybe with more “sophisticated” writers and filmmakers at the helm. Maybe a movie like…American Beauty?
Yes, that’s right. American Beauty is a film about seeing past the bland commons of life and recognising the gorgeous and the magical. The writer of American Beauty, i believe, not only included a reference to Re-Animator in the script because he was a fan – but also because it is itself a beautiful film. Finding the charm and value in everything is an important human quality and it can definitely be extended to grungy gushing splatter-flicks like Re-Animator.
Alright, so maybe a mangled bleeding zombie cat is hard to appreciate for its aesthetic value – if you’re PETA or something. Please don’t kvetch about the “poor thing”. It’s a puppet, and anyways…as every self-denying hater says: “some of my best friends are cats!”. The one in this movie is used to make an important narrative point anyway, so it’s all okay in the end…right?
I recommend Re-Animator as a challenge. If you are someone who only watches high-brow artsy films, try seeing if you can spot the “art” in Re-Animator. It’s there if you just…look closer.
Also, it’s a great choice for this years Hallowthreen, if you’re still looking to complete your list. Speaking of Hallowthreen…
…I found another movie for mine! Sorry, I know I “segwayed” badly into that one…
Actually it’s worse than that. That entire recommendation, whilst important in and of itself, was also a segway in order to tell you about my new Hallowthreen discovery. See, Stuart Gordon, the director of Re-Animator, also made another movie inspired by H. P. Lovecraft – called From Beyond.
It’s almost a sequel to Re-Animator; as it also stars Jeffrey Combs, who played Herbert West.
Fun, funny, rude, romping, rebellious, and ridiculous…all the reasons why I’m dying to see it! The most amazing about it is exactly that; it’s still a mystery to me. I’ve known about it for a while but never bothered to give it a gander. Well, this Hallowthreen I’m going for it – I hope it’s every bit as good as Re-Animator.
– Rant Over
‘Twas the month before…
We recently entered October, in case you were hibernating and didn’t notice. October just so happens to be my favourite month of the year. Is that because my birthday’s in October? No, because it’s not. Is it because my girlfriend’s birthday is in October? No, I don’t have a girlfriend…thanks for reminding me. Why not? Have you read this blog before? Theeere you go.
October is many different things to many different people. It’s Breast-Cancer Awareness Month, Fair Trade Month, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Filipino-American History Month, Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender History Month, Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month, Dwarfism Awareness Month, Health Literacy Month, World Blindness Awareness Month, Squirrel Awareness Month, National Cyber Security Awareness Month, and of course the always-on-my-mind…Auto-Battery Safety Month. Jesus, with all that who needs the rest of the year?
For those of you out there who are somewhat gluttonous, like myself, there are some more pressing designations; like National Pizza Month and National Popcorn-Poppin’ Month. I suspect they’re somewhat connected to my real reason for loving October. So, what is my reason? I’ll write it in a way that the emoticon generation can understand:
Fairly predictable, I admit. Being a promoter of Squirrel Awareness Month would probably make me less typical, but I can’t deny that my heart lies in a bucket of candy corn (sorry for the disturbing imagery).
Ah yes, October 31st, the night of virgin screams and smokey moonbeams. This year Halloween falls on a Wednesday, so many people will probably trade in all forms of timely celebration in favour of being fully conscious at work the next day. Will I? Hell nah. I’ll move shifts around to make it fit. I know this sounds like hyperbole, but it really isn’t…I enjoy Halloween far more than Christmas. Those of you who know me know that to be true. Perhaps the fact that every other person in the country isn’t celebrating it at the same time makes it that much more special to me, I don’t really know. Many people associate Halloween with costume parties.
I’m not into parties, much less costume parties. I don’t see the point in crafting an elaborate outfit just so five or six people can point and go “oh you’re that thing!”. Instead I prefer to tell people that “I am dressed up, I’m dressed up as a serial killer with a hatred for people who ask why he hasn’t dressed up.”. That tends to silence them and make sure they avoid me the rest of the night. That’s the point of a party right…solitude? Hmmm, I may be going wrong somewhere.
Alright, I’m a grinch, but even a grinch can have traditions. About six years ago I decided on my own, and now I want to share it with you.
Every Halloween I go out and rent or buy three horror movies. These horror movies can be new, old, big budget, small budget, operatic, tense, english, or in a foreign language. It doesn’t matter what the movies are like so long as they’re generally considered to be scary, but more importantly – I haven’t seen them before. They need to be new to me. Then…I gather nutrients! By nutrients I mean the stuff you find at the top of the food-guide-pyramid. I stock up on fats, sugars…and excitement. After that…I wait for it to get dark.
Once the safety of the sun has gone, and spookiness of the moon begins to settle, I open the bags and pop in the discs. It has now begun, and over the next 6 hours I watch them one after another.
Basically I have a three-movie horror marathon with a feast of crappy foods in front of me, starting around 7-ish and ending around 1 or 2 in the morning. Sorry for taking so long to explain it, but I was trying to get you in the mood.
Alright not that much in the mood, but the point here is to scare myself. I want to dangle my sanity over the edge of a cliff by a dodgy piece of string. Those of you who don’t enjoy watching horror movies because you’re afraid of getting scared…well, I just can’t relate to you. Do you also not go on roller coasters for fear of butterflies in your stomach? Do you skip sad movies because you can’t stand feeling so down? A horror movie is meant to scare you, and it’s a great feeling when it actually does.
So, over the next month I’ll be scrutinising as many fright-flicks as I can to try and assemble my own holy trinity. So far I’m pretty sure I’ve nailed down…one.
I’m not interested in The Woman in Black because of Daniel Radcliffe, although I’m sure “that’s what someone who’s secretly obsessed with hot-Harry would say!”. No, honestly, I’m excited to see it because it’s a return to the classic British Hammer horror movies of the 80’s. A creepy mansion in the Victorian era bravely occupied by a young sceptic; a classic formula that’s been put on lay-by far too long. Bring back to the old dusty cobwebs and creaky doors, I say! It’s also interesting that it’s directed by James Watkins, who’s previous credits include My Little Eye and Eden Lake. Both of them fall shy of greatness but have rich soft nuggets of charm at the centre. Hopefully The Woman In Black will continue that trend. I’m still not 100% sure on it yet, but so far it’s the best first choice I’ve found.
So, here is what I’m proposing: I’m giving a shout out to all the loners out there who love halloween and horror. If you don’t have a party to go to and you’re not getting up at the crack of dawn the next day…join me! Not necessarily literally “join me”, but pick out three movies of your own and have yourself a little marathon. This doesn’t have to be something that you do alone, by any means. In fact it’s more fun when you have a few friends over to partake in the experience. If, maybe, you feel that you’re hopeless at finding good horror movies or you’re just completely unaware of what would indicate a scary one – I’ll help you! Leave a comment below indicating the type of horror movies you’ve enjoyed in the past and I’ll do my best to pick out a few that I think would appeal to you. What’s most important is that you take it seriously and seek out three films which each appear to have high “fright” or “creep” value.
On a different note, I’ll be doing my best to add posts on Cinema-Rant consistently over the next three weeks, giving you updates on how my selection is coming along. Will The Woman in Black make the final cut? Who knows? Who cares? Well…maybe someone out there does. In addition I’ll be jotting down some recommendations for you guys based off of movies I’ve chosen in previous years. I’ll drag you kicking and screaming into the spirit of Halloween even if it kills you!
Then when it’s all over I’ll review each movie and let you know how successful it all was. Sound good? Sound like a waste of your time and you think I’m a “fag”? Fine, I don’t want people like you on my blog anyway!
If any of you want to share you’re own “horror list decisions”, you can do so in the ‘comments’ below. Feedback isn’t exactly overflowing here, so don’t be shy.
Last but not least, if you know of a really really really scary movie that you suspect I might not have seen…let me know. I’m as open to suggestions as ever – there are still two completely empty slots and I have no idea what to fill them with.
– Rant Over
Write where you belong
What do Roald Dahl, J. R. R. Tolkien, and William Shakespeare have in common besides them all being authors?
Please focus on the question and stop imagining the magical three-way dinner conversation these characters would have if you put them all in a room together. Yes, I’d like be a fly on the wall for that meeting as well – but I’m trying to make a point here. The answer is that their names alone hold a very specific meaning. Roald Dahl will forever be tied to children’s literature, J. R. R. Tolkien will never escape his association with hobbits and wizards, and that Shakespeare guy did some plays about love and revenge and stuff – or so I hear…not really sure…but I think so…
All kidding aside, these literary figures have inked themselves into the pages of history as self-imposed representations of their chosen medium and genre. Also they’re all dead…
…sorry…moving on…
Amongst the royalty of the written word, however, certain unmistakable majestic giants still live and loom large; of which the greatest one, I think, is Stephen King.
The name Stephen King instantly means something to you: horror. Oh sure, every so often he pens down the odd relationship drama, and yes a couple of them are transformed into film format…but you have to admit that you still associate the latter name of King with fear and…dare I offer a foreshadowing clue; misery.
And there’s a good reason for that, namely this:
As you can see there has been a legion of film adaptations resulting from Stephen King’s novels and short stories. The list I presented here would be even longer if I included all the TV movies and Mini-series’ aswell. They vary greatly in quality too, so it’s an interesting cache to delve into. You have, on one end of the scale, not-so-successful attempts like Sometimes They Come Back and, on the other end, critically acclaimed critics-choices like The Shining.
From the ones you see on this list my favourite is probably The Dead Zone, followed by The Mist, Christine, and then Carrie. But there’s one you don’t see on this list…and that’s…
Misery, starring James Caan and Kathy Bates, is the best Stephen King horror/thriller novel adaptation that’ been made thus far.
There’s nothing supernatural about the original story or the movie. There are no evil clowns, no reanimated pets, and no vampires, telekinetic psychopaths, or possessed cars. Instead; it’s a story about a writer, Paul Sheldon, who is famous for writing a series of books about a main character named Misery Chastain. He is at a time in his life where he wishes to break from the strains of the series and explore new stories and characters. On a road trip across the snowy mountains he ends up crashing his car and is rescued by a middle aged woman named Annie Wilkes, who then proceeds to bring him back to her remote cabin and start nursing him back to health. The first thing she tells him when he wakes up is “I’m your number one fan!”.
You know what…I’ll leave it there and let you figure out the rest. Either you can or can’t deduce where it’s going from what I’ve said thus far. Either way, you should watch it and find out, because it’s great. Don’t take my word for it, ask the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences who saw fit to give Kathy Bates an oscar for her portrayal of Annie Wilkes.
Kathy Bates winning Best Actress
Now, she mentioned a couple people in that speech who I also need to talk about. Although Kathy was the one who won the award, James Caan should not be overlooked. He gave us a terrific rendition of a smug and overconfident writer brought down to ground level, both metaphorically, literally…and painfully. I’m sure if he’d been at the Oscars i 1991 he would have tipped his hat to Kathy as she walked on stage to collect her golden statue. Right James…?
It’s ok, he’s just staying in character.
The other name Kathy Bates brought up was Rob Reiner. If you’re unfamiliar with the massive influence of Reiner’s other work…let me take care of that in about two seconds…
Yeah that’s right. A Rob Reiner marathon night wouldn’t be such a bad thing, ey? And I didn’t even mention A Few Good Men, mostly because I wasn’t sure you could handle it.
But forget Rob Reiner, forget James Caan, and yeah I’m gonna say it – for the moment – forget Kathy Bates. The greatest thing about this movie is the self reflectiveness of the story.
Stephen King has several times expressed regret for boxing himself in as a “horror writer”. Several times he’s tried to unstick his own label by creating stories like The Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me, but with Misery he decided to take a third option. The thoughts and opinions expressed by Paul Sheldon are largely representative of King himself. He wants to try new things and not be chained to one genre, but has trouble escaping. Annie Wilkes represents King’s fans, who he’s endlessly grateful to for making him as successful as he is, but at the same time he clearly feels that they imprison him in several ways. Well, I’m one of those fans and I think he should be proud of being a horror writer. I remember reading The Tommyknockers when I was eleven and having nightmares, then reading Insomnia and being unable to sleep, all followed by gripping the covers of Pet Sematary with shaking sweaty hands.
Be proud of your work Stephen! I know you don’t need me to elevate your spirits, as you have enough money and success to buy a small country and decree yourself King Stephen King of Stephen Kingland, but I’m saying it none the less. I really mean it! Be proud of all your work. That includes your 1972 short story The Mangler about a demon-possessed industrial laundry press machine (yes, he really did write that). Stand up straight when talking about the 1995 movie adaptation directed by Tobe Hooper (yes, they really did make that). And as if that’s not enough, keep strutting your stuff over the sequels – The Mangler 2 and The Mangler Reborn (What, you think I’m lying? Look em’ up!). Any writer who can create a trilogy of movies from a short story about a piece of machinery that kills people at will and then randomly takes off and flies down the street seeking new victims…is clearly a special one by virtue of that very fact (Yes, I’m being serious! It really does fly!)
Above all, be proud of Misery. You gave Kathy Bates that oscar ahead of time by creating such a rich aggregate of character traits for her to choose from. Your words leap off the page, onto the screen, and into our hearts. I hope you never stop terrifying us with horror fiction because you simply are the best. Long live the King, the King of Misery!
– Rant Over
Cinema Rant 
Fright-sized scares
Yesterday, while I was at work, a woman handed me a banknote with dried blood on it. I didn’t ask why, instead I just took it as an indication that the spirit of Halloween has truly been set in motion. Jason has gripped his machete and Freddy has donned his glove. Likewise I must ride off on my own little crusade of bringing horror to the soon-to-be horrified.
In my last post I told you about my Halloween tradition of watching three horror movies back-to-back; or “Hallowthreen” as I am now calling it. Afterwards it occurred to me that one of the biggest complaints about a movie marathon is “it’ll take ages!”. Yes, movies are long. At an average length of 90 minutes, human beings can only just about handle three of them in a row before feeling like they never want to see another one ever again. Many of you may sight this as a reason for preferring television, considering that the common length of a tv-episode is a snappy 21 minutes. Ok, so maybe this Halloween you like the idea of watching a few different horror stories but don’t want to spend half a day on it. I get that, I really do, and luckily I have the solution for you:
Anthology films are films within films, or what some might call “filmception”.
What you’re basically getting here is a few short stories told within the framework of a larger story. It’s perfect for Halloween, because it allows the viewer to dive into several different genres and character pieces. The format has been explored quite a bit in the past, so let’s open the dusty pages and have a look at the yield.
There are a few weird things about this film which hint at the respect it has not been given by its producers. First off, the font they used for the title can be easily found on Microsoft Word; fail! Secondly, James Marsden and Amy Smart are featured heavily on the poster but…they’re hardly in the movie! Clearly the marketing company cared more about bringing in the cash than accurately portraying the narrative. So, what narrative is that exactly?
“Four teenagers crash their car in the woods on their way back from a concert. Realising that they have to spend the night outside, they decide to light a campfire and begin to share spooky stories. “
– Cinema-Rant
The stories they tell are the most classic of the classic, starting with one about the escaped mental patient with a hook for a hand. Almost everyone’s heard it, but if you haven’t then I won’t ruin it for you. From there they reel off the stories of a couple on their honeymoon night being stalked by menacing creatures outside their camper van, a little girl alone one night who finds herself accidentally chatting online to a crazed serial killer, and a lone motorcyclist staying the night in a house owned by a mysterious and beautiful mute woman with a murderously overprotective father. Are the stories tied together in any way? Do they have any outlying significance? How can or do they affect the main characters? You’ll have to find out when you watch it.
For less of an american teenage feel and more of a British literature approach, we turn to Tales From the Crypt from 1972. The concept is…
“Five people get lost in a crypt and meet up with a strange crypt keeper who tells them the stories of how they will die if they do not change their immoral behaviour.”
– IMDB
Sounds heavy, right? It is, but it’s also very inventive. With twisted stories that could have been written by Edgar Allen Poe himself, it brings you into a world of intrigue, corruption, murder, and of course…the supernatural.
This one is great because it combines this post with my earlier one about Stephen King’s Misery. Stephen King is, as I’ve already told you, a legend in the world of horror stories. Who better, then, to lend their skills to a horror anthology movie?
“Three stories of suspense and horror are linked by a single stray cat moving in and out of each one.”
– Cinema-Rant
First of all I’ll put an end to some of the suspense by answering the most important question here: Yes, that is Drew Barrymore on the cover. Not only that, but the film also features James Woods and Robert Hays – so the cast list is solid. What I really love about it, though, is the uniqueness of the stories. These are obviously tales that only King himself could come up with. Firstly; we’re introduced to a man who tries to quit smoking by unknowingly joining a cult. Then; a man is offered to have his debt removed by a crime boss if he agrees to shimmy himself around the outside of a skyscraper for the bosses amusement. Finally; A child is unknowingly watched by a little devilish creature living in the walls of her room. You have to watch it to see how the premises play out into their inevitable conclusions, but it’s definitely satisfying.
Ok so…keep the Stephen King and now throw in a little George A. Romero, and you have the Creepshow movies. The godfather of zombies meeting the supreme ruler of shock can only mean good things.
The deal here is that the short stories do not take place within a greater one, but instead unfold like the pages of a comic book, with cartoon segments between them. Altogether there are seven stories featured with actors like Ed Harris, Leslie Nielsen, and Ted Danson portraying the characters as well as fun cameos from Tom Savini and Stephen King himself.
Alright, the last three films on this list are my favourite, in descending order with my absolute favourite being the last:
Now this is where these movies start to get really dark and bizarre, which is what I love about them. The plot, or rather plots, of Tales from the Darkside are a little twisted:
“A suburban woman, who reveals herself to secretly be a witch, has captured and imprisoned a young boy in her basement – she plans to cook him in a stew and eat him. In order to postpone his own death, the child reads her a series of frightening and outlandish tales from a nearby book.”
– Cinema-Rant
Yeah, you read every word of that correctly. A child is about to be diced and put into a pot…at the beginning of the movie! Believe it or not, it only gets madder from there. First we are read the story of a young student who unleashes the key to reanimating an ancient mummy and controlling it at will. That’s not freaky enough? How about a hit man who is summoned to a mansion by a wheelchair-bound geriatric who tells him that he wants him to assassinate his cat; a cat who, he says, is a cold hearted killing machine. Oh yeah, it gets stranger; with the fable of an artist who encounters a vicious gargoyle monster in the back alley behind a bar. The gargoyle lets him live in exchange for a promise: that he will never tell another living soul of what he saw.
There are a few things I need to acknowledge at this point. For one, Stephen King and George A. Romero seem to love the anthology format quite a bit, since they have their masterful hands knuckle-deep in this film as well. Also, what is up with the repetitious use of the word “tales”? We had Campfire Tales, followed by Tales from the Crypt, and now Tales from the Darkside. I didn’t even mention Roahl Dahls classic television show Tales of the Unexpected, but it used it too. They should just make one giant movie called “Campfire Tales of the Unexpected from the Darkside of the Crypt” and call the whole thing off. Hey, I’d watch it!
So if Tales From the Darkside hasn’t interested you yet, I’ll make two last ditch effort to try and draw you in. I shall reveal the cast:
Still not impressed? How about the trailer?
Alright, so what could possibly be better than the previous combination of elements; Stephen King, George A. Romero, Arthur Conan Doyle, and that impeccable cast? Well, how about a combination of the 70’s and 80’s four most high-profile directors?
There’s no way you haven’t heard of The Twilight Zone, everyone has. It’s one of the most famous television shows ever, all about weird little stories of the paranormal, supernatural, and downright inexplicable.
The Tv show came and went throughout the 1950’s and 60’s. Then, 20 years later, a group of filmmakers teamed up and decided that they wanted to make a big, bold, anthology films that was a saturated tribute to the series. Who were these filmmakers? Why John Landis, Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, and George Miller of course. For those still sketchy on the significance of the names; That’s John Landis of The Blues Brothers and American Werewolf in London, Steven Spielberg of…all the Spielberg films, Joe Dante of Piranha and Gremlins, and George Miller of the Mad Max films.
I was going to show you the trailer but…it’s pretty terrible and shows you nothing of any value or atmosphere whatsoever, so I won’t. Instead I’ll share with you a creepy behind-the-scenes story on the making of the film:
During the production of the very first segment, directed by John Landis, there was a tragic accident. Not only tragic…it was insane! One of the scenes in the segment called for a ridiculously scary stunt in which a helicopter hovered mere meters above three of the actors heads, Vic Morrows and two vietnamese child actors; Myca Dinh Le and Renee Shin-Yi Chen. Just about everything that could go wrong did go wrong when the helicopter actually crashed on top of them, decapitating and crushing them completely. Not only that, but the cameras were rolling as it happened – which means that the whole thing eventually found its way onto youtube. Then, as if that’s not crazy enough, John Landis nearly went to jail for murder, as he had ignored union film safety regulations. Now that’s some freaky spooky shit!
When I first saw the movie I had no idea that all this was in the background of it. Some might say that it warrants not completing the film, as it could be seen as profiting off the death of three people. I can understand that, but to me it makes the movie that much more interesting. Although I have written about death in somewhat respectful and philosophical terms before, I have a confession to make: I have a slight morbid obsession with it as well. Watching a movie like The Twilight Zone and knowing that three of the stars in the picture had their heads chopped off on set…makes it fascinating to me! Just like the Poltergeist curse, where a disturbing number of the actors ended up dying one after another to the point of suspicion, this event adds even more mystery and intrigue into an already mysterious and intriguing anthology film. I’m not going to lie, it does contribute to it’s high placement on the list.
But even that can’t boost it past my favourite anthology film of all time, which is…
I love Trick ‘r Treat! Love love love love love love love love love looooove it! I know that was very grammatically negligent of me, but the point needs to be made with some seriously heavy trauma!
It tells four separate stories, all within the same universe. As the stories play out periodically, they also intersect and affect one another. Staying true to all the traditions of horror anthology films, it provides us with morally corrupt central characters who quite literally face their demons in the form of gruesome and supernatural incarnations. Not only is this movie a tribute to anthology films and horror films alike, it’s a gorgeously penned love letter to Halloween! Every frame of this movie praises the very spirit of the holiday and childishly rolls around in it. OK, that’s it. Forget the rest of the movies I mentioned. Alright no, I mean – they’re all great and deserve your attention thoroughly…but this movie is it! If you only choose one movie out of all of them to watch this Halloween, make it this one! You cannot be disappointed! It’s not possible!
However, it’s very important to make sure that you buy or rent Trick ‘r Treat, not Trick or Treat. Trick or Treat is a 1986 film with Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne…and I am not endorsing that.
Please take a look at the trailer and let it inspire you. Become a child again and forget all the torture films and found-footage crap, this is where it’s at; going back to the classic atmosphere of all hallows eve. Open your chest, take out your heart, dip it in sugar, and enjoy! Yumm!
I’m going to try and end each post from now till October 31st with an update on how my Hallowthreen is coming along. As you may remember last time I told you that I was possessed by the idea of selecting The Woman in Black as my first choice. I haven’t given up on that, but another film has begun to float around my attic recently and that’s Ti West’s The Innkeepers.
Ti West is an interesting guy. A few year ago he made a fantastic little cheap horror film called The House of the Devil. It intentionally used 1970’s stock, cameras, and filmmaking techniques to invoke the feeling of that decade. Not only that, but the film was also released on VHS as well as DVD and Blu-Ray, for no other reason than nostalgia. Tonally the movie reminded me very much of The Exorcist, and for any of you out there planning your own Hallowthreen, The House of the Devil is a great choice if you haven’t already seen it.
As for The Innkeepers, the trailer intrigues me but I’m not sure whether to laminate it in as my second choice, or paste it over my first. Trailers can be deceptive, as we all know. Aaarrgh, if only I was a poor starving african child living the simple life in a third world country – then I wouldn’t have to deal with these pressing issues! Please help me out, people.
What do you think? Does it look scarier than The Woman in Black? Maybe some of you out there have even seen both of them and can tell me whether you think it was.
– Rant Over
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